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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22799203">lost in japan</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rynsngyl/pseuds/rynsngyl'>rynsngyl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>X1 (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Longing, Love, M/M, angst???, bring back x1, i miss my children, seungyul gay, seungyul i miss you, uwu, we going sad hours</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:34:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,396</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22799203</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rynsngyl/pseuds/rynsngyl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“You know, Japan feels a lot different without you.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Lee Hangyul</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>lost in japan</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>“You know, Japan feels a lot different without you.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hangyul’s first time in Japan is a dream. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He’s finally debuted, the world finally seeming to go his way, with a group </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> a boyfriend that he can finally see the world with.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Seungyoun confesses to him onstage that day. Although he’s</span>
  <em>
    <span> just</span>
  </em>
  <span> supposed to be a representation of their fans, he can’t help but play along, pretending as if he didn’t feel his heart swell when Seungyoun came up close and playfully whispered an </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I love you”</span>
  </em>
  <span> in his ear.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He falls to the ground, hand to his heart, mimicking a love struck teenager, overwhelmed by his boyfriend’s words. Looking up, he’s happy to see that Seungyoun bursts out in one of the brightest smiles in the universe, eyes scrunching into little crescents of joy as he laughs at Hangyul’s sudden acting. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Warmth blooms in his chest. He’s so damn lucky to have Seungyoun in life, to have him as a bandmate, roommate, best friend, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>lover</span>
  </em>
  <span> for the next five years‒ </span>
  <em>
    <span>and maybe more.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When he’s with Seungyoun, the harsh sting of hate comments are swept away by the tidal wave of loving compliments that he whispers against his lips as they kiss. The dull pain in his ankle fades to nothing as he dances onstage, empowered by the thought of Seungyoun coming across a fancam of him as the elder scrolls his twitter feed on the ride home later. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Back in their hotel room, they play around, crashing people’s rooms because they’re irritating like that, always instantly knowing what the other wants to do without needing to say a word. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>One look is all they need to know that they can play around now, because they have forever left with each other; that they’ll be in Japan another time with their group mates, that they’ll always have </span>
  <em>
    <span>time.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But then again, time always did run fast when life was getting good. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In their room, they lock the door and turn the lights down. Hangyul feels like he’s a kid again, at his first sleep over after being able to make friends and stay up all night long without getting scolded. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They decide to do a vlive for their fans, but only audio, so that they could lay on their bed, warm fingers intertwined with Seungyoun’s phone between them, only broadcasting their words and leaving their lovestruck smiles hidden from the rest of the world. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hangyul doesn’t tell Seungyoun that he falls in love with the elder’s soft, alluring voice and soft features that are barely illuminated by the dim glow of the phone in between them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Seungyoun doesn’t tell Hangyul that his heart almost sings at every one of the puns and little tickles that come from devious yet playful hands that snake their way around him in the darkness, gearing up slow and steady before they strike.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Together they settle into their comfy sheets, hands and now legs intertwined as they continued to humor the fans, playing as radio DJ’s to Midnight Radio. With the soft music in the background and the sound of Seungyoun’s light hums, Hangyul can’t wait to host their little ‘radio show’ again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>At 1 am, they sneak out of their hotel room like a pair of teenage rascals, tiptoeing past the rooms of the many staff and their managers, pretending to be hopelessly incompetent versions of secret agents. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They find comfort over delicious instant ramen and almost a dozen of assorted sandwiches‒ Hangyul thinks he likes the strawberry cream sandwiches the best‒as they lay in Seungyoun’s spacious bed, giggling over all the dumb faces that they make with each other, carefree as ever. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Seungyoun quickly leans over as they play fight and gently presses a kiss on Hangyul’s lips, the feeling as fleeting and light as a butterfly. As he pulls away, the corner of his lips turn upwards and his eyes scrunch up with glee, “Strawberry, yum,” he comments, tongue flicking out seductively.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Suddenly Hangyul doesn’t think, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows </span>
  </em>
  <span>that strawberry cream is officially his favorite flavor of sandwich. Perhaps they kiss for far longer after that, and perhaps Hangyul feels like he’s sinking into heaven as he presses Seungyoun into the bed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Japan with Seungyoun is fucking dream, and Hangyul doesn’t ever want to wake up.  </span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>
  <span>Japan </span>
  <em>
    <span>without </span>
  </em>
  <span>Seungyoun is cold. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Winter in Sapporo is a frigid as they come, and yet the stylists insist on giving him revealing outfits with plunging necklines and copious skin exposure. But it's his first time on stage in a while, so he tries his best to ignore the creeping tendrils of frosty air that swipe over his chest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After all, dressing provocatively was only fun when Seungyoun was around to admire his visuals, to run his adorably small yet teasing hands over hot skin in between stages, to playfully show skin at the right moments, to drive Seungyoun to the point where he would snap. Now, Hangyul could really care less about showing off to anyone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>On the bright side, he finally has some lines in all of their songs, but the stage feels so damn empty when it’s just him and Dohyon. It’s a little harder to dance as hard as he wants when he was an entire song to sing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Seungyoun’s lines make his heart sink: remembering how the elder used to perform with him. Backup dancers may fill the stage, but they’ll never be Seungyoun, they’ll never be the love of his life. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He lies in his room, alone, wishing for the familiar warmth of Seungyoun to wrap him in a blanket of love and adoration. There’s no comforting presence beside him on the bed, no partner in crime and fellow radio host to do nighttime live streams with </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s 10 pm when Hangyul’s phone lights up with a message from Seungyoun, wishing him a good night. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>How many days has it been since they last talked? Since they last got to enjoy each other’s joy and bliss? Hangyul doesn't want his day to end like the others, so he quickly clicks call, praying to god that Seungyoun will pick up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hangyul? Baby, is everything okay?” Seungyoun’s sweet, melodic voice always eases Hangyul’s heart and soul, lulling him into a comforting state, taking his mind off of all his inhibitions and fears. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I-I’m fine,” he whispers, “I just missed you.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You did so amazing onstage today, Gyullie, I’m so proud of you.” Hangyul’s heart soars, tears still threatening to fall from the corners of his eyes, this time in a miasma of adoration, longing and love. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Your voice was so beautiful, your dancing was amazing. I just‒” his voice falters for a moment, “I just wish I was there with you too.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hangyul grabs a pillow from beside him‒ </span>
  <em>
    <span>where Seungyoun should be</span>
  </em>
  <span>‒ being sure to gently hold it to his chest, pretending to ignore the white hot fire of yearning that resided within him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You know, Japan feels a lot different without you.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Seungyoun’s voice barely makes it through the phone, seemingly muffled from the other end. “I know, baby, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I know</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m back here in Korea, waiting for my prince charming to come back home and sweep me off my feet,” Hangyul chuckles at the joke, the mood lightening with the sound of their little giggles. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He clutches the pillow closer to his chest, shutting his eyes as he imagines Seungyoun there in his arms with him, imagining the way his long limbs would wrap around him and swallow him up in a cocoon of pure love and affection.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll be home soon, Seungyoun.” Hangyul’s only seventeen hours and thirty minutes away from touching down in Seoul once again, fixated on the hours that separate him Seungyoun. He won’t tell the other that he’s secretly counting down the hours until he can finally sink into Seungyoun’s arms again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know,” Hangyul can almost hear the adoring edge to Seungyoun’s soft voice, imagining the little smile that would be gracing his lips as he speaks into the phone. “I have a steaming cup of hot chocolate and lots of cuddles waiting for you, so come back quickly, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He buries his face into the pillow, wishing it was Seungyoun’s chest, wishing that soft and sleek silk would turn into bright smiles and velvety smooth skin. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hyung, I love you.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know, Gyullie, I know.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>aye who's sad?? me. im sad. BRING BACK X1</p>
<p>anyways find more content at @rynsngyl (fics &amp; aus) or @hangyuwu (stan) on twt</p>
<p>please message me on there i am a sad and lonely child in need of friends</p></blockquote></div></div>
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